Date Everything!

🔥 What is Date Everything! for PC

Date Everything! is a quirky and surreal dating sim developed by Incredible Ape and published for PC, blending absurdist humor with playful social commentary. Unlike traditional dating sims that ask you to romance a cast of pre-defined characters, this game flips the concept entirely by letting you flirt with, seduce, and even emotionally bond with literally everything around you. Chairs, refrigerators, clouds, alarm clocks, even existential concepts become potential love interests in this wonderfully bizarre experience that refuses to take itself too seriously.

At its heart, Date Everything! is a parody of modern dating games, poking fun at the way we anthropomorphize objects and project meaning into everyday things. However, it also embraces genuine emotion, as players discover unexpected charm in forming a connection with something as silly as a traffic cone or as profound as “time itself.” With a branching narrative and multiple endings, the game ensures that every playthrough feels both ridiculous and strangely touching.

The developers have leaned heavily into surreal humor, using exaggerated scenarios and tongue-in-cheek dialogue that constantly surprise players with their creativity. Beneath the absurd surface, though, the game offers commentary on loneliness, relationships, and the weird places where people find comfort. This mixture of slapstick comedy and subtle poignancy makes Date Everything! both a joke and an oddly heartfelt experience, and it is this combination that has made it stand out among indie PC releases.

👉 Features of Date Everything!

Branching Romance with Literally Anything

One of the most striking features of Date Everything! is its central mechanic that allows players to pursue romantic arcs with absolutely anything. Whether you want to woo your morning coffee mug, a volcano erupting in the distance, or an abstract concept like “the void,” the game offers dialogue paths, events, and endings that are unique to each choice.

Absurd Humor and Satirical Writing

The writing in Date Everything! is sharp, surreal, and self-aware, constantly breaking the fourth wall and making fun of both players and its own genre. Every interaction is loaded with clever absurdities that keep the tone lighthearted while still occasionally catching you off guard with sincere moments.

Multiple Endings and Replayability

Each object or concept you choose to romance comes with its own storyline and ending, meaning the game practically begs for replays. Some endings are comedic, others unexpectedly melancholic, and a few are so bizarre that players are left laughing in disbelief.

Customizable Choices and Player Expression

Despite the ridiculous premise, Date Everything! takes choice seriously by letting players shape the direction of each romance. Decisions affect tone, outcomes, and even how your object of affection “responds” to your advances, ensuring that each romance feels distinct.

Hidden Layers of Meaning

Behind the absurdity lies hidden subtext, with some storylines using comedy to explore loneliness, emotional dependence, and the human need to find meaning in objects or routines. It’s both a satire and a strange kind of mirror held up to the player.

Gameplay

Dating Mechanics with a Twist

At first glance, the structure mirrors classic dating sims, complete with dialogue trees, branching paths, and stat-based choices. However, because the love interests are inanimate or surreal, the mechanics constantly shift to match the absurdity of each romance. Dating a stapler, for example, might involve organizational minigames, while courting the concept of “gravity” might pull you into physics-based scenarios.

Dialogue Choices and Consequences

Dialogue in Date Everything! is playful and unpredictable, often giving players choices that seem nonsensical but lead to surprisingly coherent story beats. These choices shape the tone of your relationship, sometimes deepening the “bond” in surprisingly sincere ways and other times spiraling into wild comedic chaos.

Replayable Loops and Collectible Endings

The game is structured around relatively short playthroughs that encourage experimentation. Players can keep a gallery of unlocked romances and endings, effectively turning the game into a collectible experience where “dating completionists” try to romance every single thing possible.

Surreal Minigames

In addition to dialogue, some romances introduce minigames tailored to the personality of the object. For example, dating a washing machine may involve rhythm-based button presses to match spin cycles, while romancing a thunderstorm could transform into a sound-based puzzle. These light mechanics keep the gameplay fresh between narrative sections.

Graphics

Minimalist Yet Expressive Art Style

The game’s visuals embrace minimalism, with colorful, cartoonish designs that make each object visually distinct while leaning into their absurd nature. Everyday objects are drawn with exaggerated features that make them feel oddly alive without turning them fully human.

Humor Through Visual Presentation

A huge part of the game’s charm lies in the way objects are depicted. A toaster might appear with glowing eyes on its bread slots, while a mountain may shift colors as it reacts to your affection. These exaggerated designs reinforce the ridiculousness of the premise.

Smooth Animations and Quirky Visual Effects

Animations are deliberately simple but playful, with objects bouncing, vibrating, or glowing in response to dialogue choices. Visual gags often accompany dramatic moments, such as fireworks exploding when you compliment a pencil sharpener.

Performance and Accessibility on PC

Since Date Everything! isn’t graphically demanding, it runs smoothly on virtually any PC setup. It supports high resolutions and simple customization, ensuring that players can enjoy its humor without worrying about hardware strain.

Pros and Cons

✔️ Pros

• Wildly original concept that flips the dating sim genre on its head
• Consistently funny writing that mixes absurd comedy with occasional genuine emotion
• Huge replay value thanks to dozens of possible romances and endings
• Clever visual humor and creative minigames that break monotony

❌ Cons

• The absurdity may wear thin for players who prefer more serious storytelling
• Some romances feel less developed than others, leading to uneven pacing
• Minimalist graphics may feel too simple for those expecting high polish